We Outside!!.......A Black Girl's Story of Healing in Nature

My first time truly connecting with nature in 2018 in the Rocky Mountains for the 2018 GirlTrek Stress Protest

Now that it’s summer and we are all vaccinated and boosted (hopefully), we are ‘OUTSIDE’. I know that this declaration for being outdoors is with the intentions of lit summer nights, parties, vacations and baecations….but we can also sneak in a little purposeful healing into the festivities.

Clearly a “Healing Girl (or Boy) Summer” would include other activities outside of the norms. But I still find joy in yelling ‘we outside’ from time to time. Yes, I’m excited to travel and explore again, but I also have an interesting connection to nature. Nature was the very thing that shaped my own healing journey.

For some reason, I have a tendency to have major life shifts all at once. And during one of the toughest seasons of my life thus far, it was nature that allowed me to fully work my way through. Before this realization, I had other plans.

I’ll go ahead and call a spade a spade, healing and perfectionism mix together as well as oil and water. But, I totally thought I could do both. Juggling the chaos of grief, job loss, divorce and an extended battle with writer’s block (hence no blog posts), I came up with a “healing action plan” or so I thought.

I purchased all of the self-help books, podcasts, scheduled therapy sessions and was ‘prepared’ to Excel spreadsheet my way into the next chapter of my life. I was fully motivated to Elizabeth Gilbert….’Eat Pray Love’ my way to peace. But between motherhood and my bank account, the best I was going to do was ‘Snack Think Like’. (At least my heart was in the right place, lol).

So here I am, devouring books, podcasts, quotes and getting absolutely nowhere on my ‘linear path’ to healing. It wasn’t until one fateful day, when I was at my wits end, that I grabbed my keys, dying phone (not recommended by the way) and headed out the door to walk on a trail near me. I’m not new to the outdoors, I have experience hiking, camping and more, but it wasn’t included in my ‘healing action plan’.

I’m not sure how I pulled off a smile during this walk, but at least my GirlTrek Stress Protest shirt is cute!

Needless to say that day, I walked an hour. It was slow, uncomfortably quiet (since I was used to so much noise), emotional, but fulfilling. It wasn’t a pretty sight (me, not the trail, it was beautiful). I didn’t look like those stock photos (you know the ones with the person on the mountain with their arms out?), I was in an old pair of sweats, wrinkle shirt and baseball cap. But something very powerful happened that day and would soon be the catalyst for my healing journey. Going into the literal wilderness allowed me to work through my own personal turmoil. I took a lot away from that journey and these are just three of the lessons I learned along the way.

1. When going into nature, I quickly experienced a shift in my perspective. I was reminded of just how small me and my bag of problems were in relation to the world around me. No, the problems don’t go away and might not hurt any less, but the shift in view made overcoming those battles not as daunting. The shift in perspective allowed me to feel a sense gratitude for the literal beauty around me and in my life.

2. There is a level of peace and quiet that you can only get when you are in the midst of nature. Walking or hiking alone, without music blaring from my phone left me with my thoughts. At first I’ll admit this was a bit overwhelming. But after a few outings, I began to appreciate the time to just BE. I was forced to sort through emotions and thoughts that I tried to drown with noise. And as a chronically busy woman, this proved to have an impact on my healing journey that I never expected. It showed me that the solution to a number of my problems was within me.

3. I’m sure by now it’s no secret that I was a bit of a control freak. However, when hiking at a national park, you can’t control much around you. In fact, you have to relinquish control and go with the flow to get through much of it. It was here that I learned to let go of my need to control the outcomes or what I believed was the proper timing with healing. Letting go of control allowed me to gain peace and re-energize for more important tasks.

So if you are dealing with a creative rut, grief and other challenges in life try to give yourself some grace. And if you are anything like me and suffer with perfectionism and have maxed out on other ways to give you heart and mind some rest, grab your sneakers, spf and go commune with nature. You might just find the path out of your own personal wilderness in the wilderness.

I will be ending my summer season here, at Estes Park for the next Stress Protest with GirlTrek!

Dry January 2022

My go to non-alcoholic beer: Brooklyn Hoppy Amber

Oh the magic of a brand spanking new year! You know that time of year where you are hopeful, full of passion and even dare to have a goal or three (yes, three). Many of us look to the start of a new year as a means of hitting that invisible reset button or just starting “off fresh”. For me, I had an itch this year to challenge myself and decided bypassing alcohol for a full 31 days would be my obstacle course of choice.

I didn’t enter Dry January as a means to do anything profound like find my purpose or the meaning of life. In fact, to be completely honest, I just wanted clear skin and to sleep better. I went dry in February of 2021 and although I missed my evening glass of wine, I was….ok. In fact the sleep changes, energy level and glow I had was the motivator for giving it another shot this year.

But this time around, Dry January was harder than I could’ve ever imagined. I’m forever thankful to my ego for keeping me on track until the end, because this was a sure struggle.

Now before you get too concerned, no I’m not an alcoholic or have a major drinking problem. But the idea of practicing any form of restriction as I faced some challenging moments during this month, was frankly “batshit crazy” to many of my friends. It wasn’t until I listed all of the stuff I dealt with this month that I realized just how crazy it was to do it all fully sober (not complaining, just being honest here). See for yourself:

• Work demands went from level 10 to 1000.

• Legal stuff…..more emotionally draining than anything else (luckily).

• COVID stress. No I didn’t get it, but OMICRON killed my social plans and sparked my anxiety.

• More COVID stress. Yay to randomly homeschooling my kid for a week while trying to work from home.

• Post holiday budget. You know that time of year when you look at your holiday spending and go “wtf”.

• Mercury having a full on disco party in Retrograde (LOL).

• Snow storms and bitter cold because that’s what happens in January.

• Mood swings because that’s just how life can be sometimes.

• I’m pretty sure January 2022 had a NY accent, sore a pair of Timberland boots and basically stomped me out (LOL).

• Etc.

Needless to say, I had to face my stress, anxiety, low moods and feelings……head on. Although tough sometimes, I did walk away with some wins, lessons and a few drinking hacks.

The lessons and test of my own personal strength came in facing a number of challenges this month fully sober. So yes, all of the dramatic takeaways can be listed here and fully unpacked, but let’s save that for another time and blog post. I also had some pretty solid wins in this challenge:

• My sleep improved. It took about two weeks, but ultimately my sleep has been deeper and more restful.

• Energy levels. I’m not sure how or why, but I had an extra little pep in my step and it definitely helped me when the pressure was on.

• My bank account was probably the most appreciative due to staying in and avoiding the booze.

• I discovered some pretty awesome non-alcoholic beers and spirits (as displayed beautifully in the pic above). I definitely am a super fan of Seedlip and the Brooklyn Hoppy Amber!! Also, my mocktail game has gone up a few notches.

• In the moments of sober solitude, I got to tackle some much needed inner work which would’ve missed if I was drinking.

So, all in all, I survived and in the end gained a lot during this past month. Will I do it again? I’m not sure as of yet. I might test it (not a whole month honey….lol) out here and there throughout the year or further down the road. I do however, recommend giving something like a Dry January a try. It comes with a load of insights, lessons, a little growth and more. And if that’s something you want, I say give it a go.

New Beginnings..........

My morning coffee is brewed, my work laptop is on, and my home is silent. This wasn’t the vision I had for my life 10 years ago as I settled into my new life in Baltimore and life as a newlywed. The morning of my 10th wedding anniversary is far more ordinary than I envisioned it would be. But instead of mourning the what ifs and emotionally impactful final stages of my divorce process, I wanted to use this moment of reflection purposefully. I found my last vision board and decided not to hide from it any longer, but instead to fully embrace it and hang it up again. Dreaming again can seem daunting, but its also needed for survival.

Let me pause……yes, you read it right, I’ve been through some things and I’m ok, actually more than ok…I’m finally at peace. However, in all honesty, after going through a divorce process, losing my job in the midst of COVID (I have a new one, no worries) and watching my relationship with my best friend fade into nothingness, I’m not necessarily in the mood to craft a unique recipe or highlight my favorite grocery store find. Nor am I in the mood to pretend that my life is regimented, perfect, and orbiting around the world of food (alone). There is more to the story.

My silence from blogging hasn’t been without growth and progress. This gap in time comes with many lessons learned, inner growth, expansion of interests, and willingness to climb out of the very boxes that I placed myself in. So, with that being said, welcome to the Soul side of Flavor and Soul.  Yes, I still love food, but I also have a wide range of areas that will be explored, discussed, and captured. If you are interested in this blog and my voice beyond the recipes and imagery, enjoy your expansion pack of awesomeness……welcome and thank you for joining the journey.